I don’t play cards either.

Not poker.
Not bridge.
(Too much math.)

I’d rather think on
princesses
knights
dresses and balls.

But I have heard of a trump card.

(It’s yet another example of how many words and sayings in English have come from cards and especially poker. If ever again I teach English to foreigners, I’ll start by learning poker with them. We’ll learn all the moves, we’ll learn all the phrases. They’ll love it and I’ll like it too.)

The trump card is the best card
says the dictionary
(big red one).
Best one in the whole game.

If you play a trump card,
I think
I think it means that you win.

But it’s not that I’d entirely
Exactly know.

In the same way,
I’ve heard of Donald Trump.
A household name now.

Fun to say.
Fun to mock,
seems.

But I can’t say I’ve followed any of the stories or the news, no.
Can’t give you a single quotation
From Donald Trump, no.

Nor from the others.
Whoever they are.

(Whomever?
Whatever.)

Some vague memories of him on
“Apprentice.”
(In those days I had something we used to call a “TV”)
That’s all I know.

And as for learning more,
I wouldn’t know why.
I’m not an American.
Nobody needs me to vote.

Besides,
Got my own hands full
of everything here.

(Won’t vote for Bryan Anderson
I’ve figured out.)

Canada has more than its share
of problems and woes
Without importing more.

My brain has more than its share
of issues and thoughts
Without importing more.

Don’t need to go looking
For new kinds of games
Politics
Backgammon
What’s the difference?

Checkers?
Don’t know how.

(Really!)

They say it’s simple.
Maybe that’s the problem right there.
Seems so dull, never bothered to learn.
Zeros and Ones
Computer talk.
Bleh.

So anyway.

I don’t follow Trump.
My only source of Trump news is someone I know.
My only source is someone I know.

So he says,
“This Trump guy.”

I say,
“Yes?”

“This Trump guy!”

I say,
“Yes?”

“Oh, this Trump guy!”

I say,
“Yes?”

“Well, he’s quite the fellow!”

Oh.

(I guess now I’m informed?)

!?

“This Trump guy! Oh, you should hear how he talks!”

(Please tell me. You’ve got my attention.)

“Hoo-boy! He says what he thinks!”

(And the problem with that is?)

“Just whatever he thinks.”

(I’m waiting to hear what the problem is.)

“Doesn’t know how to be a politician!”

(Is that a bad thing?)

“He says things like, ‘They’re liars!’”

(Maybe they are.)

“He says things like, ‘If they’re not liars then they’re stupid!’”

(Maybe they are.)

“He says, ‘That guy’s wife dresses really bad.’”

(Maybe she does.)

“He says, ‘I got nothing to apologize for.’”

(Maybe he doesn’t.)

“He calls himself a Christian.”

(Maybe he is.)

“He said the bankruptcies weren’t his own fault.”

(Maybe they weren’t.)

I find it interesting. Why is it the case that this man, this Donald Trump, is so utterly laughable but I don’t know why people are – in fact – laughing? The only thing I’ve heard so far that I’ve questioned is this notion of building a wall between Mexico and the United States. I’m not sure what the purpose of that would be. To keep the Americans from tainting the Mexican soil? Hmm. Oh I understand. That might not be such a bad idea. How gracious of Mr. Trump to keep his spoiled children in check! He’ll rein them in – very good then! (Yes, please do keep them in, Mr. Trump; they sound rather out-of-control.)

So many of these Americans are so eager to condemn this man, but it sounds more like sneers and jeers than actual argument.

What policy does he suggest which is so wrong?
What notions does he have which are misguided, and why?

Isn’t that the main thing?

Not sure that it matters whether he’s on wife number five.
Or four.
Or three.
(I honestly wouldn’t know.)

Does it?

Can he govern?
Would he be capable?
Is he a better choice than his opponents?

Things like that
Seem more to the point.

Instead, I hear hyperbole about “this guy,” this shocking, outrageous, can-you-believe-what-he-just-said guy. I hear about some Americans who threaten to plan to rush across the border, north, to Canada, they’re so disgusted at the thought of him as President of the United States.

They’ll flee, they say.

They’ll flee to Canada if ‘that guy’ gets in.

Yeah?

Well guess what?

Who says we want you?

And since when do you decide where you will step?
You bully.
Since when does the whole entire world
BELONG TO AMERICA?
Start keepin’ your hands (and your feet) to yourself.

(Just askin’.
Polite-like.)

Hey Mr. Trump, if you get in, just wonderin’.
Could you build a wall,
100 feet high?

Separate Canada from your land,
Keep those brats in.
Those whiny brats.

If they don’t want you,
Not sure I want ’em either.

May the best man win, Mr. Trump.

May the best man win.
whoever that is.

(Whomever?
Whatever.)

I don’t play cards nope.

Not poker.
Not bridge.
(Too much math.)

I’d rather think on
princesses
knights
dresses and balls.

I only know one game.
(I know: “I know only one game.”
Grammatical flaws
Sometimes on purpose
Whatever.)

Whatever.
Whichever wherever whomever
What fun!

Always.
That one’s serious.
Never.
So is that.

But anyway.

I know only one game.

My dad taught me

Chess.

Of course I remember!
How can I forget?

Rooks, queens, kings, pawns.

I remember.

Bishops and Knights.

Ah yes.

Check

and

Checkmate.

Ah yes.

I remember.