Post 68


Have you ever tried to make a smoothie
And you find that the pieces of frozen fruit
From the freezer
Have fused together?

A solid block
Solid brick of?

The other day it was mango
Yellow-orange mango
Melded together

Here we go!
Here goes nothing
Into the yogurt
(Add some raw honey)

Flick it on

Jet engine
in a kitchen

Can’t remember
(But hats off to the designers!)


It’s really loud.

I watched the mango spin around.
(Watched the man-go, ha ha!)
I thought “Hey, that’s me.
I’m like the Vitamix!™”

Makes perfect sense

God drops things in
And then I stir
And I chop
Break apart
What’s frozen together
Then it’s good.

That’s me.


What job did you get in God’s kitchen?
Something nice?
Something quiet?

Trust me,
I wasn’t looking to be this noisy appliance,

Thought of myself as something else
Truth be told.
How about
Backstage somewhere?
Dark quiet corner someplace?
Behind some cardboard props
Some old Styrofoam™?
I’ll stand alone,
Thank you, sir
And madam.

You go on “Facebook”
I’ll stay here.
You go on “LinkedIn”
I’ll stay here.
You go on “Yahoo!”
I’ll stay here.
You go on “Twitter”
I’ll stay here.

Tweet all you like, partner.
(I don’t have anything to tell ’em.)

Got my corner.
Got my drawer.
I’ll be snuggled in here.
Hey, roll over, rolling pin!
Let me squeeze in.
I think I’ll fit.

And really,
Not my style

Believe me.

There were times
Stomach in knots
Couldn’t eat that
Hot dog.

Oh man.
What fax has arrived
From the other side?
Oh bleck.

(“Abridge the time for service.”
That Iaian!)

That’s for lawyers
That’s for litigation
And in fact
That’s why some leave
That “profession”
They don’t like
All the time
They don’t want to
Take that home

I’m not actually looking for trouble.
I’m just sitting here.
I don’t choose what gets dropped in.
I just stay here.

I never know what’s coming my way.
Don’t know what I’ll say

My blades are where God wants them.
And they’re pretty sharp.

He sure made me noisy.


I used to be quiet.
Relatively speaking, that is.
Relative to what I could have said, that is.
Relative to what I thought, that is.

As for now,
Well –
Someone’s plugged me in!
Whoa, horsey!

What kind of
Horse power
Is this?!

But don’t think I’m agitated
Because I agitate.
And I mix.
Don’t think I’m upset.
(Doing fine)

Look at the blades
They rest by themselves
At the bottom
Locked in place
– still –
Of that machine.

Truth is
I’m largely indifferent.
I just do my job.
He puts it in,
I’ll mix it up.
Chop as needed,
Until things are smooth

It’s just –
If you give me
A solid block of
A solid brick of
I’ll process it.
(Give me a minute.)

I’ll do what needs to be done
Stop when it’s ready.
Stop when you’re good.

I’m not the wooden spoon.
I’m not the bowl.

I’m not the garlic press.
Nor the whisk.
I’m the Vitamix™
I guess.

Full power, full blast.
Turn it up to 10
What can I say?
(Turns out,
A lot!)

One day a cowboy
Another a trucker
One day a rock star
Another a lover

Who knows
What’s coming now?
I don’t!

As for today, for example,
Today I identify with

Some European-made
$400 CDN
kitchen appliance!


Smoothie, anyone?